Writting

It's what I love to do... Though, I have no idea how to do it properly! I have recently enrolled into an undergraduate program to become an English teacher and today is my first day! So, let the writting begin!! Oh yes, and let's not forget the analyzing... I feek that WILL be reading for the remainder of my life...

St. Valentine

Have you ever wondered why Valentines day exists? I never really cared because, well, I don't care about the silly holiday in the first place. I have never been depressed because I didn't have a particular valentine, nor have I been surprised or in awe of the flowers and candies I have received because of it.

So I got to wondering... Why do girls get so emotional over a day in which love is so overly expressed? Maybe I'm just a prude (which is probably the case), but I feel that Valentines day is a total marketing scheme. Not that we don't need marketing schemes as a society, but that argument is for another day.

My husband, whom I love dearly, likes this weird day. He gets me a mushy card every year. He gets me flowers if I don't already have some in the house. No chocolates though, as I am not a big fan. He even proposed to me on Valentines day, which I think he did just to get under my skin! (I really think he did it for the element of surprise.)

Anyway, I figured I would go looking about to see who this St. Valentine dude was.

Turns out nobody really knows.

Transhumanism

"I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!"

~George Carlin, a comedic genius and poet extraodinaire

Explosion!!

It's Christmas Eve and I am off of work early. Killing some time before going to a dinner party, I sit at the computer and begin to goof off, as always.

About ten minutes to two o'clock we hear "BOOM!!" My husband yells the usually obscenities, "What the hell was that?!" My first thought is that the tree has fallen onto the house, and now we're really going to have to move.
However, when we open the front door to figure out what happened, we see practically the whole neighborhood out on their front lawns looking up towards the sky.

Now I am thinking aliens might have landed. I mean really. I have never even seen half of these people in the year and a half we have lived here. We met the neighbors for the first time. The Vietnamese couple that sings Frank Sinatra and Ricky Martin karaoke with all of their friends on Wednesday nights.

We go back into the house after quick deliberation with the neighbor that we do know and conclude that there must have been an explosion nearby. I quickly get back on the internet and look up the local news station. As soon as the KCRA homepage pops up there is an image of a house that has been leveled and a preliminary report.

By the time I click on the link to read the report, I hear countless sirens and helicopters hurrying to the scene.

The report so far:
*A Rancho Cordova house was leveled after an explosion on Wednesday afternoon.
*The blast was reported on Paiute Way between Grayson Drive and Kachina Way.
*KCRA 3 reported that five people were hurt in the explosion. Three of them are in critical condition. It's unknown if anyone was killed.
*Christian Pebbles from the Sacramento Metro Fire Department said officials suspect natural gas as the cause of the explosion.

I hope everyone will be alright.
I am ready to move now.

Danged Zippers

The worst thing about finding that your zipper is down, is the distressing knowledge that you don't actually know how long it was actually down.

Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy Quotables:

The sign read:
"Hold stick near center of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in and out motion."

"It seems to me," Said Wonko the Sane, "that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane."

Blog, blag, blawg

I can't seem to ever write anything on here. I'll be cleaning or walking around or doing something not near a pen and paper, and not any where close to a computer, and think "Wow that would be a great blog!" Then when I get here....

Nothing.
Or I don't feel like typing....

That is all... Until next time